Monday, December 17, 2007

United In Pain

A group of teenagers wander into the park at mid-day. They proceed to take crazy pictures at the playground. However, one boy stays back and decides to sit at the park bench.

A girl walks into the park and sits under a willow tree, within viewing distance from where the boy sits.

Boy: There they go. So noisy, so cheerful, so happy, so… typical of everyone my age. There’s Josh now, being all boss-like and telling everyone where to sit for their pictures. Isn’t that Ansom sitting next to Janet? Always acting like Janet’s best friend but it’s all too obvious that he’s smitten with her girl-next-door ways. And where’s Jasmine? I know she wouldn’t miss me at all but I do like to hope otherwise.

Girl: Would he ever know? Would he even care if he knew? Why can’t he pick up all the hints I’ve been dropping? Maybe he did pick them up but he doesn’t feel the same way as I do?

Boy: I just want to be there with them now, doing stupid, irrational things. So why can’t I? Why am I not running to the playground, jumping on top of that pile that they’ve formed on top of Jason? No wait, I know. Yes, it’s always been there. Yes, a wall.

Girl: It’s said that there’s no point crying over spilt milk. What’s done is done. But what if done, has not been done? Can I cry then? Should I cry that I’ve never told him, or be glad that I never gave him the chance to turn me down?

Boy: This isn’t the first time you know. I’ve been making new friends from a new school ever since primary school. I’m already in university now. So that’s like… four ‘friendship initiations’. Four times that I’ve looked for friendly faces that would accept me into their clique. And each time, that wall is there.

Girl: But he’s the sweetest thing I’ll ever know. Who else would humor me when all I want to do is to sulk all day? Who else would coach me, encourage me and coax me with math? Who else would brighten my day with a smile?

Boy: It blocks me. It restricts me. It keeps me to myself. I try to socialize, I try to do things a friend does. I hold the door for the girls and I trash-talk with the guys. But why does it seem so fake? Why do they laugh when I don’t see what’s so funny? Why do they run and scream when all I want to do is roll my eyes and snigger?

Girl: And he’s oh so popular. The prettier girls try to get him go to classes with them together but I’m usually faster than them most of the time. But I see that flash of annoyance now. He quickly hides it with a shining smile but oh I see it. He prefers their attention over mine.

Boy: I guess it’s me. Not anyone else, not what God has done, not by fate but me. I say it’s a wall but I know it’s me. My mannerisms, my ways, my quirks and my idiosyncrasies. It’s me as a person, the whole package. I’m the odd piece that would never fit into the whole puzzle.

Girl: And I thought telling him about how I feel would make him focus more on me. Pretty myself up for the big moment I did. Make-up, lip gloss, the whole works. But when I saw him cuddling up to Stephanie this morning…

Boy: So I guess I should go home now, turn on the computer and write a blog entry about how normal today was and how fine I am. Living on with the façade of normalcy. But I’m not normal. There’s something wrong with me but I just can’t seem to change. How can I change when I don’t know what’s there to change? Nothing to do but to move on with life I guess.

Girl: So I should move on I guess. There are other fishes in the sea, so the saying goes. Maybe I should go for that shark, maybe that swordfish. Forget the sweet dolphin I know and move on.

Their eyes meet briefly and they walk off.

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